Lemonade Jones Read online

  CONTENTS

  Lemonade Jones: The First Day Back

  Lemonade Jones and The Zoo That Comes to You

  LEMONADE JONES

  The First Day Back

  ‘Are you worried, Lemonade Jones?’ asked Mum as they walked through the playground on the first day of Year One at her new school.

  ‘Why would I be worried?’ asked Lemonade Jones. ‘I already know heaps of things. I can say the alphabet backwards. I think I will be very helpful to the teacher.’

  The school where she had gone to Prep had closed down, but Lemonade Jones didn’t mind. She was excited to try somewhere new.

  She had worn her new school uniform all summer, even to Christmas dinner at Grannie Janny’s house.

  ‘Well, that’s good to hear,’ said Mum. ‘But just remember that sometimes things are different from how we imagine, and that’s okay too.’

  She was right. When Lemonade Jones saw her best friend, Clark Dark, in the playground, there was a problem that Lemonade Jones could not have imagined.

  ‘Are you in 1W or 1F?’ he said.

  ‘What does that mean?’ Lemonade Jones asked her mum.

  ‘You are in 1W,’ said Mum. ‘That means your teacher is Miss Wisby.’

  ‘And mine is Miss Ferry,’ said Clark Dark. ‘See ya!’

  ‘Oh,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘I thought we would be together. How are we going to get married if we’re in different classrooms?’

  ‘You’ll get used to it,’ said Mum.

  When they arrived at the classroom to meet Miss Wisby, the teacher, there was another problem.

  Under Lemonade Jones’s bag hook was a sticker, and on it was a picture of a baby sheep.

  ‘I hate sheep,’ said Lemonade Jones as she hung up her new backpack. ‘I would prefer a picture of a baby duck, please.’

  ‘That’s a lamb,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘It starts with L, just like your name.’

  ‘Witch,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘That starts with W, just like your name.’

  ‘Lemonade Jones! That is not polite,’ said Mum.

  ‘But it’s the truth,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘You always say that I need to tell the truth.’

  ‘I can see that you’ve been practising your alphabet,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘It’s nice to have you here, Lemonade Jones. You will be sitting next to Leela Blue in the second row.’

  ‘Would you like me to stay?’ asked Mum.

  ‘I could say yes,’ said Lemonade Jones, ‘but it wouldn’t be the truth.’

  ‘Best behaviour today, please,’ said Mum.

  Lemonade Jones looked for the desk with her name on it. The tips of her new shoes sparkled as she walked to her seat. Everybody’s uniform looked smart and uncrinkled.

  The girl sitting at the desk next to her had her hair in neat braids. Her coloured pencils were all lined up neatly in a row. She was wearing a real watch with hands. That meant she could tell the time. Lemonade Jones had always wanted to be able to tell the time.

  ‘Are you Leela Blue?’ asked Lemonade Jones. ‘Because I’m Lemonade Jones.’

  ‘I know,’ said Leela Blue. ‘I can read your desk tag. I can read whole books — even the ones that have no pictures. I can add up 23 and 23.’

  ‘Why would you want to do that?’ asked Lemonade Jones, who did not find numbers very interesting.

  ‘I like to be good at things,’ said Leela Blue. ‘I am usually the best.’

  Lemonade Jones frowned as she looked down at her desk. In the corner was the same lamb sticker from the bag hook.

  Miss Wisby went to the front of the room and held up her finger. She waited until everyone was silent. ‘Welcome, Year Ones!’ she said warmly.

  Lemonade Jones looked around at her class. Some of the boys and girls had come from her old school. Some she had never seen before. Three kids had red eyes from crying.

  I wonder if Clark Dark is crying without me, thought Lemonade Jones.

  ‘How lovely to be spending the year together,’ Miss Wisby continued. ‘Soon we will all be great friends, I’m sure.’

  ‘Miss Wisby, I don’t think anyone will be friends with Marcus Crackle,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘I know him from my old Prep and he never shares the Lego.’

  ‘I think someone forgot to raise their hand,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘Perhaps we should start the morning with our class rules. We might all need a reminder of how important it is to be kind.’

  ‘And to share,’ said Lemonade Jones.

  There were lots of rules that did not interest Lemonade Jones.

  ‘If we can’t say anything nice, we don’t say anything at all,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘And we never run in the classroom.’

  ‘What if there was an emergency?’ said Lemonade Jones, who liked it when loud, exciting things happened. ‘What if a T-Rex was holding you in its mouth by your underpants, and we needed to run and save you? What if there was a smell so bad that we were all about to suffocate?’

  She was thinking about the terrible stink of Baby Walter’s nappies, even though they would probably never show up in 1W’s classroom.

  Leela Blue put up her hand. ‘Then we would all leave quietly together,’ she said.

  ‘That’s right,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘I like the way you raised your hand, Leela Blue.’

  ‘What if the emergency was that our hair was on fire?’ asked Lemonade Jones. ‘Shouldn’t we run then?’

  ‘Cool,’ said Marcus Crackle.

  But lots of kids looked worried.

  ‘People who cannot be quiet will be spending some time in the Quiet Corner,’ said Miss Wisby, pointing to some beanbags by the window. ‘That is another class rule.’

  ‘Yeah, Lemonade Jones,’ sneered Marcus Crackle as he picked his nose.

  This did not sound right to Lemonade Jones.

  She glared at Marcus Crackle, then raised her hand. ‘Shouldn’t quiet people be in the Quiet Corner?’ she asked. ‘Otherwise it won’t be quiet and you’ll have to change the name.’

  The bell rang loudly.

  ‘Time for morning break,’ said Miss Wisby, running her hand through her hair.

  Outside, Lemonade Jones looked for Clark Dark. She wanted to ask him if 1F had boring rules too. But he was with some new boys that Lemonade Jones didn’t know.

  ‘You can’t come over here,’ Clark Dark called. ‘We have invisible lasers on our fingers. POW!’

  Lemonade Jones’s heart hurt, right where Clark Dark had shot her. She sat next to the handball court all by herself.

  After the break was Show and Grow Time. Everyone could show or tell something to the class. Today’s topic was ‘My Holidays’.

  Leela Blue had been to the Museum and learned facts about electricity. Sam Feathers had been all the way to Africa and seen a lion up close. Penny Milkbar had been stuck on a ferris wheel for two hours, right at the top.

  Lemonade Jones was jealous. All she’d done on the holidays was stay home and do puzzles while Mum looked after Baby Walter.

  ‘Lemonade Jones, would you like to come up and talk about your holidays?’ asked Miss Wisby.

  ‘No, thank you,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘I do not have anything nice to say so I will not say anything at all.’

  ‘Come on,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘Quick sticks.’

  It felt scarier at the front of the room than Lemonade Jones had imagined. She felt small up there. ‘My mum had a baby,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s a boy baby.’

  ‘How lovely!’ said Miss Wisby.

  ‘It smells so bad,’ Lemonade Jones went on. ‘It spews up. I wish we could take it back.’

  Around the room, lots of people were nodding. ‘I have a baby cousin,’ said Acorn Bellpepper. ‘It smells too.’

  ‘My mum’s friend h
ad two babies and that’s called twins,’ said Poppy Whisper.

  ‘Hands up, please,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘I am sure in time that you will grow to love your brother.’

  ‘Probably not,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘When babies grow teeth, they can bite all the way through your skin. I saw it happen at the park.’

  ‘Like a vampire!’ said Marcus Crackle. He opened his mouth wide so his teeth stuck out. He flapped his hands like a bat and everybody laughed.

  ‘I hate babies too,’ whispered Leela Blue as Lemonade Jones sat down. ‘And vomit.’

  ‘So yuck,’ agreed Lemonade Jones.

  ‘To end our day, we will have some You and Me Time,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘Today we are going to split into pairs and draw a nice big picture of each other.’

  Lemonade Jones hoped that she would be put with Leela Blue. Leela Blue would probably be a very good drawer. She could probably even draw Lemonade Jones riding on a unicorn.

  Instead, she got Marcus Crackle.

  ‘Don’t draw me with fangs,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘Or a beard.’

  ‘Cool idea,’ said Marcus Crackle.

  Marcus Crackle drew Lemonade Jones with blood dripping out of her mouth. So Lemonade Jones drew Marcus with crossed eyes and a nose dripping with boogers.

  Marcus Crackle drew a big knife going through Lemonade Jones’s head. So Lemonade Jones drew devil horns on Marcus Crackle.

  Marcus Crackle did some squiggles in the corner of his page.

  ‘What is that?’ asked Lemonade Jones.

  ‘That says “Blah blah blah”. Because you are always saying something boring.’

  ‘Am not!’ said Lemonade Jones. She reached across and did a big X on the squiggles. ‘And that isn’t even writing, anyway.’ X was for xylophone and for X-ray.

  Marcus Crackle reached across and ripped Lemonade Jones’s drawing in two.

  ‘HEY!’ yelled Lemonade Jones. It felt good to yell. Stupid Marcus Crackle. Stupid school.

  Then Lemonade Jones did something she had never done before.

  She leaned over and opened her mouth.

  She bit Marcus Crackle on the arm. Very hard. Like a vampire.

  ‘YOW!’ yelped Marcus Crackle. ‘YOWEEE!’

  When Lemonade Jones sat in the Quiet Corner, she was very quiet. Perhaps she had been wrong about the name.

  She sat there while everyone showed their pictures to the class. She sat there while Leela Blue got a sticker on hers.

  She sat there while the bell rang loudly and everyone went to get their bags. She knew that Mum would be waiting outside.

  Then the classroom was empty.

  Miss Wisby came and sat next to Lemonade Jones on a beanbag. ‘You know that biting is wrong, Lemonade Jones,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘I cannot have that kind of behaviour in my classroom. Do you understand?’

  Lemonade Jones nodded. Tears squeezed out of her eyes.

  ‘But I want to thank you for reminding me that first days can be tricky,’ said Miss Wisby, ‘and sometimes we don’t know what to do with all of our feelings. You have helped me to remember that.’

  ‘I am usually very helpful,’ whispered Lemonade Jones. ‘But there is so much to know at this school.’

  ‘I understand,’ said Miss Wisby. ‘But each day is a new chance to learn. Each day is fresh with no mistakes. So shall we start again tomorrow?’

  ‘Yes,’ whispered Lemonade Jones.

  At the bag hooks, Leela Blue was waiting. ‘Here — I saved this for you,’ she said. It was a ladybird sticker. The ladybird had twelve spots.

  ‘That’s two times six,’ said Leela Blue.

  ‘I know,’ said Lemonade Jones, who didn’t really. ‘I mean, I will soon.’

  ‘How was it?’ asked Mum. She knelt down to give Lemonade Jones a giant hug. ‘I missed having you at home.’

  ‘It was not how I thought it would be,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘And I bit somebody,’ she added. ‘But I’m starting fresh tomorrow.’

  LEMONADE JONES

  and The Zoo That Comes to You

  Lemonade Jones was turning six. For the first time ever, she was allowed to have a party. Clark Dark would be there. The whole of 1W was invited. Even Marcus Crackle.

  The party she had chosen was The Zoo That Comes to You. She had seen a poster about it at the supermarket when she was bored in the queue. The Zoo That Comes to You had a truck full of animals and a real zookeeper.

  In Show and Grow Time, Lemonade Jones stood at the front of the class to tell all about it, and she didn’t feel shy at all.

  ‘There’s only one lion on the invitation,’ she said. ‘But there will be seven at the party. And a bear on a tiny bicycle. And a crocodile.’

  Leela Blue put up her hand. ‘Is that allowed?’ she asked. ‘I think there are rules about dangerous animals. I think they need to be in cages or people might get hurt.’ Leela Blue cared a lot about rules. Lemonade Jones did not.

  For two weeks, Year 1W played Zoos every lunchtime and Lemonade Jones thought up more animals that would be at her party.

  ‘Five monkeys that can juggle bats,’ she told Clark Dark.

  ‘A zookeeper with a big moustache and a top hat that’s tall enough to hide four rabbits under,’ she told Penny Milkbar.

  ‘Are you sure?’ asked Leela Blue.

  ‘Of course,’ said Lemonade Jones.

  At night, she almost couldn’t sleep, her heart was so full of The Zoo That Comes to You.

  When she woke up on the morning of her party and put on her crocodile costume, she was so excited she almost forgot about presents. She almost forgot that one of them was going to be a pair of sneakers with lights on the bottoms that flashed when you ran.

  ‘It’s sad that you have to be at work today, because The Zoo That Comes to You will be the best party of the year,’ she told Dad as he passed her a plate of smiley birthday pancakes. ‘Even better than Penny Milkbar’s Robot Space Party.’ At the Robot Space Party, there had been a dark room with glowing stars on the ceiling.

  Marcus Crackle had stolen the matches and set fire to the box with the spaceship cake inside.

  ‘It’s not a competition,’ Mum reminded her. ‘Everyone’s party is special in its own way.’

  ‘And mine will be the most special,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘It will be the only party that has real zoo animals. And if the animals get too crazy, we’ll just put them on the Naughty Step.’

  The Naughty Step was where Mum and Dad sent Lemonade Jones to think about what she might have done wrong. She had been there the day before yesterday when she’d snuck her kitten, Verity Minx, into Mum’s handbag as they were leaving for swimming lessons.

  ‘I’m so sorry I have to miss it, sport,’ Dad told Lemonade Jones.

  ‘That’s okay, Dad,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘Someone from the newspaper might come to photograph it. You can read the article.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Dad with surprise.

  ‘Really,’ said Mum with a smile.

  ‘Woof !’ said Big Ruffy.

  ‘See? Big Ruffy knows,’ said Lemonade Jones. ‘He knows everything.’

  Two hours before the party was due to start, Lemonade Jones was ready and waiting by the living-room window. But before long, she spotted a problem.

  ‘Will the truck be able to get into our driveway?’ Lemonade Jones asked Mum, who was dressing Baby Walter. ‘How will it fit under the power lines? It has a giraffe in it. They’re tall.’

  Mum laughed. ‘No, it doesn’t. Now, if you could make sure Baby Walter stays in his playpen, I’m going to finish the cake, and you’re not to come into the kitchen until I say so. I have a lot to do without your father around to help.’

  ‘It’s a lion cake, isn’t it?’ asked Lemonade Jones, because that’s what she had asked for, and birthdays are for getting what you asked for.

  ‘Time will tell,’ said Mum.

  But when the truck finally arrived, it wasn’t a truck. It was a van. A small one. And the zookeeper wasn’t really a zo
okeeper. He was just a man wearing jeans.

  Lemonade Jones forgot all about minding Baby Walter. She ran down the driveway and watched as the man with the van unloaded the cages.

  There was a turtle that looked very sleepy.

  There was a rat with a patch on one eye.

  There was a parrot balancing on a stick.

  And that. Was. All.

  ‘But where is the lion?’ she asked the zookeeper who wasn’t a zookeeper. ‘Where are the monkeys and the bats? Where is the bear on the little red bicycle?’

  ‘G’day, I’m Steve,’ said Steve. ‘My lion’s sick today, so I’ve just got these guys, and a jar of spiders on the front seat. Are you Lemon Squash? Happy birthday, love.’

  ‘Lemonade,’ whispered Lemonade Jones.

  She felt her cheeks getting hot and pink and her smiley birthday pancakes getting noisy in her tummy.

  This wasn’t what the kids in 1W were expecting at all.

  Lemonade Jones ran back to the house and stood outside the kitchen door.

  ‘Mum?’ she called.

  ‘Is he here yet?’ asked Mum.

  ‘Umm, no…’ said Lemonade Jones, wishing it was true.

  ‘Is Baby Walter okay?’ ask Mum.

  ‘Umm, yes,’ said Lemonade Jones, who wasn’t entirely sure. ‘How long till the party starts?’

  ‘About an hour,’ said Mum. ‘Let me know when the Zoo arrives.

  Lemonade Jones slumped back to the living room. ‘What am I going to do now?’ she asked Baby Walter. ‘This is going to be the worst party ever. Even worse than Leela Blue’s Maths party.’

  At the Maths party, there had been a game to guess the number of jellybeans in a jar. Leela Blue had won. Lemonade Jones had not.

  Lemonade Jones lifted Baby Walter out of the playpen. He smiled and gripped his arms around her neck just like a baby monkey. And that’s when Lemonade Jones got a Big Idea.